Standing in the door of an old ancient hotel.
Over in the distance a completely empty candybar overpower by dust chilling by some old creaky stairs.the windows had massive cracks in them.
A massive horde of cat/ rat urine (kinda like a hurricane hitting) knocks me back like its trying to take over my body.
I thought it would’ve been a hotel filled with dead cats/rats ( i could tell by the smell that made my stomach rumble)
Hooning away from a indoor hurricane of urine inside of that muted coloured hotel.
By phoenix
STAR:i love the base of this story. WISH:i do wish this was longer because it is a very interesting story and i would like to read more.
ReplyDeleteBy caleb.
star:Phoenix i like the way you described your work.
ReplyDeletewish:i wish you could of put more punctuation in your work
by wiremu
star:i like how used really descriptive vocab it really pictured the seen
ReplyDeletewish:i wish you added another paragraph
STAR:i really liked how you described the smell as a hurricane it was great writing
ReplyDeletewish: i wish that you could make your writing longer and add more punctuation